Aside from the reality that everyday has its ups and downs, I have come to the end of my proverbial rope. I am so so tired of trying to fix things for the rest of the world. I am not Ms. Fix-It. I will admit that I do enjoy being in control, but I am not the end all and be all. I do not have all of the answers. Stop Asking Me!!!
When will someone else ask what they can fix for me? And ask before I actually say something about it, but when they sense that something is off with me. Today, I am not okay.
I am tired. I am broken. I am worn down. And to think I have been wondering so much why I've been 'sickly' lately. All of the previous statements add up to a lack of health.
I want to feel good. I don't want to be sick. I want to be able to use my gifts and talents to help others with a cheerful heart and not because they need me so much that they are draining me. I want to live in an uplifting environment that is 100% open. I hate closed doors. I don't want to feel like it is my responsibility to take care of people that are grown. I just want to get along with people. I just want to get my other business up and running. I know there are a lot of things that I want. The main thing is just to feel at peace. With myself. With my environment. With my relationships.
And yes, I know that In Christ Alone my hope is found. I'm just struggling today. It will be okay. It will be more that okay. It will be wonderful, but right now, its not and that is the reality that faces me today.
For those who thought that just because my name is Happy, I would be happy all of the time...let me ask: are you happy all of the time?
God is in control and has my best in mind. He will take care of me as he has many many times before and will continue to do in the future.
=>h
FREE...but in need of peace.
